Motherhood

So, Mother's Day has come and gone. I spent the day on the beach - alone. As I was basking in the sun, several deep thoughts about the day left me pondering...

My mother is so blessed. She is lucky to have 3 daughters, all who love Jesus and have turned out fairly normal-and I use this term loosely! We adore her and hope our lives glorify Jesus Christ everyday. What a blessing and a testament to how she raised her daughters. I hope I've shown her how happy I am that God gave her to me. Although it was a rough start for this middle child! Two and 1/2 months early and just 2.5 lbs.... what a surprise in the early 70's! I lived the first 2 months of my life in a hospital with virtually nothing wrong w/ me besides my small size. I was confusing, a miracle indeed, and left everyone scratching their heads even then! Haha. ( I have magazine pictures to prove it!) Anyway....my mother never believed for one minute that I wouldn't grow to be healthy and strong. She knew God had great things planned for my life and has told me this so many times as we retell the story. I am so thankful for this.

I, too, believe our Lord has great things planned for me. I often tell people how I know I was put on this Earth to be a mommy one day. I can feel it in my bones. As I sat on a deserted beach, I revisited a favorite chapter in a book I love. In this book, Disciplines of a Godly Woman, the author tells us that some women are given the gift of singleness, so that their other gifts can be used more abundantly for the Kingdom of God. I'll be honest, I have a hard time with this "gift". Of course, I want to do whatever it is that He leads me to do, but at the same time, shouldn't I get to be a mommy too? One friend in bible study asked me "what if you've been given the 'singleness gift' only to fulfill your need of motherhood through teaching?" That one was hard, too. What if? What if I don't accept it as fulfillment? Of course, I LOVE, love, love my children. They are mine for 8 hours and are treated as such. I am thankful, too. BUT...this 'biological clock' (always hated that term) is ticking, and very loudly I must admit!! I find myself jealously admiring those who have a baby...often.

Whether I had become a mom to a precious blonde haired 8 year old who steals my heart with every smile, or I'm given the honor of having a baby, or my gift is that of singleness, I am restless. I am praying for Him to provide peace, understanding, clarity and thankfulness with whatever my life holds. If you are lucky enough to have been given the gift of motherhood, don't allow it go a day without praising Him for it!

I love you, Mom. Thank you.